


Perfect

by GuineapigQueen



Category: South Park
Genre: Body insecurity, Chubby Craig, M/M, but also some sweet comfort, chub creek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:03:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: As college piles up Craig struggles to cope. Tweek steps in and offers him a lifeline.





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to contribute to the recent rise of chubby Craig! I hope this gets across that I don't think having extra weight necessarily makes you unhappy, and that it's very much depression causing those negative emotions and thoughts. Hope everyone enjoys!

Soundtrack: Perfect - Anne-Marie

Nobody had told Craig that moving out was gonna be so awful. The movies made it look liberating and exciting but truthfully, there was shit all that was fun about it. Even though he technically had his own space he suddenly felt very backed into a corner and completely, utterly alone. His dorm mates mostly kept to themselves. One guy was an international student from China who seemed to only have Chinese friends and spoke exclusively in Mandarin. Another girl brought random dudes back a lot, like,  _ a lot _ a lot. And another girl was always drunk and breaking up with her boyfriend, loudly, every weekend. Craig had zero interest in bonding with those people socially - well, the Chinese guy was okay, he just couldn’t keep up with the language barrier.  

 

It was kind of easy to slip into isolation, locking himself in his room for days on end and getting takeout so he didn’t have to potentially interact with his roommates in the kitchen. He did have friends, but it was sometimes just easier to be on his own. It was  _ so  _ easy to let himself drift and turn down every social invite extended to him until they became few and far between. It was also easy to skip class and lie in bed, feeling too anxious to face the day yet also horribly guilty for shirking responsibilities. It was extremely easy to eat junk food instead of proper meals and play video games all day instead of going out for fresh air. Craig has trapped himself, and it had been so easy.

 

Craig wasn’t happy with his life, but he still couldn’t take charge and make it better. No, it was much easier to retreat into the darkness and pretend. 

 

Craig miraculously had a boyfriend in Tweek; they’d been together since high school and had gone to the same college in Denver. They just weren’t lucky enough to share a dorm and they studied in different departments. They only really saw one another when Tweek made the time to come over to Craig’s squalor of an apartment. 

 

Craig didn’t think their post high school relationship was going to be like this either. He thought they’d be together all the time and always have something cool to do. But school is hard, harder than Craig had anticipated and it was easier than he thought to just go weeks without seeing one another. 

 

And then there was the weight.

 

It’s not like Craig had been some kind of model to begin with. He’s always been tall for his age but squishy around the middle. Enough that you wouldn’t call his belly flat, but he wasn’t fat either. Tweek thought it was cute, and well, Tweek grew up working in his parents coffee shop with pretty endless supply of baked goods at his disposal. So Tweek was kinda squishy around the middle too, and that was okay. Craig was always okay with them not being perfect, he liked being able to rest his head on Tweek’s belly or that everything felt soft when they cuddled. He loved all those things and he’d never, ever wish for a sharper, smaller Tweek. 

 

But for Craig, all his nights of isolating himself, of having junk food binges instead of cooking real food, or all the times he stayed in bed playing video games were catching up with him. He was more than just a little bit squishy in his belly now. He was more squishy all over, he’d taken to living in sweats because a lot of his jeans just weren’t fitting right. His face has still stayed mostly slim, so he was hoping that he was hiding it okay for when anyone dropped by unexpectedly. He didn’t think Tweek had noticed, and if he had, well he hadn’t said anything. 

 

Craig was avoiding him like he was avoiding everybody, everything. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually  _ been  _ to class, all his quizzes flunked and his textbooks unread. He went to all this trouble, moving out, to just  _ do nothing  _ and he couldn’t understand it. Couldn’t pull himself together. He just sat there in the dark, trying to ignore his problems as they piled up. And well, Tweek hadn’t tried that hard to reach out, not really.

 

Tweek’s work was more assessment based. He writes papers or creates major works rather than taking quizzes or exams. It meant that he is busier earlier on in the semester and doesn’t have as much time to just hang out. The weeks towards the end of the semester are like exam time for Tweek, he’s mostly holed up in his room or painting down in the studio. When they first moved in, Craig used to sometimes come down with Tweek and watch him work. But the art students, all cocaine-thin and beautiful, intimidated the shit out of him. Tweek was the only one who felt like a real person to him. He hadn’t known how to explain this insecurity to Tweek, so he just feigned work. Said he had assignments to do, which he did - but he still didn’t do them. 

 

In Craig’s exam week Tweek would have more time in his hands, maybe he’d come down and help Craig study. And Craig would pretend to, he wouldn’t have the heart to tell Tweek that there’s no way he was turning up to his exams. Not when class is already giving him a panic attack. 

 

He just doesn’t know what to do… should he drop out? Wait for them to kick him out? He wishes he could just hit pause for a second to figure this whole thing out, but he can’t. Life stops moving for no man.

 

So he stays in bed instead, not moving for hours in the dark.

 

—

 

He woke to his phone vibrating. There were like five texts from Tweek.

 

_ Hey wanna hang? _

 

_ Havnt seen u in forever… _

 

_ Hey? U ok? _

 

_ Craig, call me? _

 

_ Ok I’m at ur building, come let me in now!!! _

 

Shit. He snapped awake.  _ Fuck. _

 

Why did he have to sleep through his boyfriends attempts to get in contact? Now he couldn’t do any damage control, Tweek was already  _ here.  _ He is gonna see how messy Craig’s room is, the fact that Craig hasn’t showered or washed his hair in forever  _ and  _ he’s gonna see all the rubbish from yesterday’s binge. 

 

_ Fuck fuck fuck.  _

 

Phone was vibrating again, Tweek calling. He sighed as he clicked answer.

 

“Come let me in man!” Tweek said, voice shril,l “I’m worried about you!”

 

“I’m coming now,” Craig sighed down the receiver, before ending the call. 

 

He raced down the stairs to the lobby to buzz Tweek in, suddenly feeling very self conscious about the stains on the tatty pair of sweats he’d been living in. He wouldn’t be surprised if Tweek wanted to break up then and there, on the spot. 

 

“Shit dude,” Tweek said as he barreled inside the building, “I called you like, twenty-seven times! You haven’t answered my texts for like three days? And I thought, oh no Tweek, don’t be too clingy maybe he needs space but like… this is getting ridiculous man! Just talk to me!”

 

“I… haven’t I?” Craig asked, stunned. He didn’t remember actively ignoring Tweek for three days. Although, he supposes, in his groggy haze of oversleeping he could have forgotten to reply to him. 

 

“We’re goin’ up to your room and you’re telling me what the fuck is wrong, okay?” Tweek said and Craig almost felt sort of relieved. At least  _ someone  _ was in charge here, even if it wasn’t him. 

 

Tweek grabbed his hand and started power walking in the direction of Craig’s room, dragging a stunned Craig behind him. If Tweek was upset, why did he want to hold hands? Especially if Craig had been such a disappointment to him lately. 

 

Tweek didn’t say a word until they were both seated on Craig’s dingy single mattress. Craig wanted for a lecture about the state of his room, or the junk food wrappers on the floor but none of it came.

 

“You gotta tell me what’s wrong Craig.” Tweek said, “I can’t help if I don’t know.” 

 

Craig blinked at him and said, “I don’t know.”

 

“You look like you’re scared of me.” Tweek replied, “You don’t need to be.”

 

“It’s just…,” Craig wasn’t quite sure where to start, “you’re gonna be so disappointed in me.”

 

“I won’t be.” Tweek assures, shaking his head, “Unless you did something like slept with someone else….”

 

“Shit no!” Craig yelped, “No I haven’t done… I haven’t done  _ anything.  _ That’s the issue.”

 

“I don’t get it?” Tweek asks, frowning.

 

“I haven’t been going to class or doing my quizzes or turning in my assignments or… anything…” he says solemnly, hanging his head in shame and to avoid eye contact with a surety disappointed Tweek.

 

“Why?” Tweek replies, softly.

 

“I don’t know, okay!” Craig cries, wanting to bury his face in Tweek’s chest but he knows that he can’t. Not in this moment. Shit, maybe after this conversation he’ll never get to again - what if Tweek wants nothing with his complete failure of a self?

 

“Calm down,” Tweek soothes “I’m not mad I just wanna know why? Like what have you been feeling?”

 

“I dunno… it’s like, everytime I say,  _ tomorrow I’m gonna do it.  _ And then I never do, it’s like, I freeze on the inside. And now I’m too far behind to catch up…” he cuts himself off before he goes too far and spills too much of his soul.

 

“Dude, that sorta sound like it could be… anxiety? I don’t wanna put words in your mouth though,” suggests Tweek. He’s biting his lip, looking worried. Craig put that look there, god, Craig hates himself. 

 

“I mean maybe?” He considers, not wanting to dive in too deeply “It’s the thought of seeing people? Having people see me and wanna potentially talk to me? It makes me feel sick… like I can’t move. I’m just  _ stuck  _ in my room on my bed…”

 

“That sounds like anxiety to me… and well, I think maybe you gotta go to a doctor for it. I can try and help you but like, I’m no professional…” Tweek offers. He reaches his arms out and closes the space between them. He squeezes tight, and it says a lot more than his words do. It says  _ I’m a permanent fixture, I’m never going anywhere.  _

 

“Why aren’t you mad at me?” He groans.

 

“What do I have to be mad about?” Tweek mumbles, arms still wrapped around Craig. 

 

“I wrecked my whole future for  _ no  _ reason.” Craig sighs.

 

“Nah, I think this can all be fixed… if you want it to be? If you hate school so much I won’t make you stay… but if you wanna stay we can probably work something out.” Tweek says, he sounds so sure. Again, Craig is grateful for someone else having initiative and taking charge.

 

“It’s not just that though…” Craig trails off. 

 

“What is it then?” Tweek encourages him, “You gotta tell me when something is wrong or else I can’t do anything.”

 

“Well… look at me. I’m gross. I’m not the dude you took to prom anymore.” he says mournfully. 

 

“Craig, I genuinely don’t know what you mean” Tweek says, sounding actually confused.

 

Bless him.

 

“I’m fat now, and like… I’m gross and  _ I wish  _ I could make myself go shower and stay presentable but I just  _ can’t.”  _ Craig rambles, biting his lip to stop himself from crying. He doesn’t even know why he’s so upset, he just hates being  _ him.  _ Just wants it to stop. 

 

“Jeez Craig, it’s not like… well, straight up, it’s not like I  _ care.  _ I only know you’re not happy and like, to be honest with you I think you’re sick… like, depression sick?” Tweek replies, squeezing Craig tighter, “We can work on that, your physical appearance can wait. Let’s work on the part that hurts the most first?” 

 

“You don’t care that I look like…  _ this?”  _ Craig says with malice.

 

“No, I mean I want you to be happy and to want to shower and things but like, as long as you feel healthy I don’t care… maybe I like more weight on you. Sue me.”

 

“You don’t,” Craig says, bemused. A half smile creeping at his lips. 

 

“I do, but what I like the most is when you’re happy.” Tweek says, rock-solid sure, “So whatever you want, we’ll work on it okay?”

 

“Okay.” Craig agrees. If Tweek can love him through this, he’s gotta try? Right?

 

—

 

Craig’s problems are ones that can’t be solved overnight, but Tweek sort of found a rough first step. Craig went to a doctor, that referred him to some psych, who the put him on antidepressants. He had to keep up a routine, to keep seeing this doctor and keep taking this medication. Part two of Tweek’s plan of attack was to make time to do things together, things that got them out of the house and walking around. And, Tweek started teaching him to cook, another thing they could do together and it helped Craig feel more at ease in the kitchen - having Tweek there. Part three involved a letter from the doctor to Craig’s professors. Putting his studies on hold for the rest of the semester, he was going to take everything again next semester. A fresh start. Part four was moving in together. Neither of them liked living in the dorms. 

 

Craig lost a bit of weight, just through the act of moving around more and generally eating better. But the medication made him put him back on. Somehow, this time around he cared much less. It wasn’t his size making him sad, but the chemicals in his brain. And much like himself, Craig is pretty sure Tweek doesn’t wish for a sharper, smaller Craig. Just a happy one.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
